


desire burns like a candle wick

by sunflower_8



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Mental Breakdown, Sad boi hours, i dont know how to tag this, makoto gives good hugs and comfort, once again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 13:01:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: flames flicker out, but he never did





	desire burns like a candle wick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [celestial_nova](https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestial_nova/gifts).

the hardwood vibrated like there was an earthquake, and that may explain why the room itself was in disarray. the light fixtures danced with black spots in her vision, and the air conditioning was frigid and stiff. in every little thing-- the picture frame, the paperwork, the wallpaper-- there was the desire and temptation for destruction that never relented. and the vessel of the craving was in the body of the silent detective standing in the center of it all.

kirigiri kyouko stared at her gloved hands, noting how they tremble. if she extended her fingers and closed her eyes, she could almost feel phantom pain moving up her wrist and burning her skin. she reminisced on a time where a family friend commented saying kirigiri’s quick wit and temper resembled a wildfire, flickering intensely and difficult to control. years have passed, and kirigiri mastered the way to delicately hold herself, maintain an apathetic expression, and suppress emotions. she taught herself to save the intensity for the interrogation, rather than grief.

she looked at the remains of her office. perhaps the wildfire was still in her, but rather than being in her mind, it extended from the tips of bare fingers and turned what was once a place of work as a place of bitter regret. her lament breathed life into everything, and she had never been more scared of the prospect of death.

she removed her gloves and sank to the floor, wrapping her hair around fingers and attempting to measure how fragile the strands were. several fell to the floor, and if she squinted her eyes, they looked like they were singed. 

her hands were still warm, she noticed; they always were. it was an uncomfortable level of heat from being trapped by gloves in humid weather. when she was younger and more reckless, a different kind of heat would escape her grasp. heat that was found at the edge of a match, a cigarette, anything to numb her and the world. 

for the cigarette, it happened once. a mistake that occurred when she was ridiculous enough to be deluded into believing that having friends was still an option. one of them was holding a pack of cigarettes and smiling, and kirigiri took one. it felt intoxicating and freeing, but she noticed herself becoming less aware of the environment around her. she could no longer detect blatant lies on the faces of tipsy strangers, and she was blind to others’ intentions. 

when she understood this, she ran.

as far as the match, kirigiri had fallen into that trap far too much. although no flames were present, her office was dilapidated and chaotic, and it was a blessing there wasn’t any burn marks aside from the scars etched in her skin. she could almost feel the rush right then, the urge to deliver the _ coup de grâce _ to every tortured remnant of a memory that turned her heart to ash. her body tingled and her left hand reached out to desperately grab something that would ground her. her fingers secured themselves around the handle of her coffee mug, and she heard the liquid in the cup move around. 

it was too loud. far too loud.

her arm moved of its own accord: she raised the cup in the air and cried as she dropped it onto the floor, craving the noise of the collision and the rush of it falling. the mug shattered into pieces, and it’s then that she realized that the broken object was a gift, and it was now reduced to glass shards. her hands tangled in her hair and she sobbed silently. it wasn’t a pretty cry. it was ugly and kirigiri hated the way her eyes burned and her nose wrinkled and tears fell down her cheek.

she wished she had a glove to obscure her face, because she feared that her mask was slowly cracking.

she heard footsteps from the hallway, and she tried to pull herself into a standing position to show that she was at least strong enough to accomplish that, but her legs refused to work and her arms shook violently and she had no choice but to watch in shame and self-pity as naegi makoto stepped in to her office, immediately scanning the room before his eyes landed on her. he moved towards the floor in front of her, grabbing her hand and searching her eyes for any indication of what might have triggered her. 

slowly, he exhaled, speaking calmly, “kyouko. are you with me right now?”

“...m-makoto?” it sounded like a question, and she tried to swallow back her tears.

“kyouko,” he repeated, “what happened?”

she shook her head.

“kyouko, please,” her expression didn’t change. he sighed, “okay. can... can i help in any way?”

“...”

“kyouko?”

“take me away from here,” her voice was rough and emotional, and it was uncomfortably unnatural.

“okay. stand with me, okay?” he counted quietly to three before pulling her up. she was almost like dead weight, and it was obvious that he struggled, but eventually the two of them were standing and looking at each other. kirigiri took a step but immediately stumbled, so naegi put an arm around her waist, “c’mon.”

it was a silent endeavor. naegi navigated his way through empty halls, waving in acknowledgement to other future foundation members, who decided not to question why naegi’s boss was clinging to him. the two of them entered the vacant elevator in silence, kirigiri fixating on the changing numbers to distract her mind. the elevator made a noise as they reached the third floor, and naegi carefully lead kirigiri to her room.

“do you have your room key?” in lieu of a reply, kirigiri pulled out a key from the pocket of her blazer. naegi gave her a bright smile, “thank you.”

kirigiri’s room was much more organized than her office, but the untucked bed and haphazardly arranged pillows displayed that the morning was as tough as the rest of her day. she sat down on her bed as naegi locked the door and placed her room key on an empty side table. for a second, he simply looked at her, as if he had no idea what to do from that point. after a few long moments, he finally spoke.

“it’s getting a bit late. do you want to sleep?”

kirigiri nodded, taking off her boots and, after thinking for a minute, taking off her blazer as well. she fiddled with the bedspread, deep in thought once again. 

“do you…” naegi frowned, hesitating on his next words, “do you want me to stay?”

the idea of naegi staying was the beginning of an empty promise. she was his boss, so it may be slightly inappropriate, but they were both friends before that fact. that concept of friendship was almost terrifying on the best of days, and on the worst of days, it turned her mind to pure flame as she desperately attempted to comprehend it. naegi was her water; he was emotional and calm and he could talk her down from her misery. but, despite being water, naegi was so, so warm. he reminded kirigiri of an old friend, actually. one with brown hair and a sometimes absent-minded personality, but they were kind and determined and focused. friends don’t last long, though, and kirigiri was sick of empty promises.

the question had been lingering in the air for too long, and naegi sighed again. he ran his fingers through kirigiri’s hair briefly before stepping away and making his way out the door. instantly, she felt panic sweep her again, and she didn’t want to be alone. she didn’t want to do this alone.

“wait.”

soundlessly, he turned around. kirigiri met his eyes, and he held her gaze, smiling. without another word from her, he sat down on the bed next to her. the bed was only made for one person, but kirigiri allowed naegi to place her head in his lap, covering her in the blanket and grabbing her hand. it was then she realized that she was still not wearing any gloves, but naegi held her hand anyway. the urge to cry was still present, but now it was more out of fondness than pain.

“you aren’t going to sleep like that, makoto.”

“it’s okay,” he squeezed her hand, “i’m not very tired at the moment, and who knows? i can sleep in weird places and situations. remember that one plane ride?” he laughed cheerfully, “i was like, half in togami’s lap, and he was pissed. sleeping on planes is fun, honestly. i love a challenge.”

perhaps that’s why he fell in love with her.

kirigiri weakly smiled, “of course.”

his eyes lit up at her smile, and he smiled back, tucking her hair behind her ear, “get some rest, kyouko.”

“makoto, i…” she didn’t know how to thank him, but from the look in his eyes, it seemed like he knew. he always did.

“it’s okay. goodnight, kyouko.”

as if his words were a spell, kirigiri allowed herself to stop thinking and analyzing and _ feeling _anything other than appreciation and warmth. he stroked her hair soothingly, humming a song quietly and smiling down at her. slowly, she found herself falling into a deep sleep, and the presence of naegi reminded her that no matter what came tomorrow, there was always going to be something there. and no matter what kirigiri did, she would never lose it or destroy it.

flames flicker out, but he never did.

**Author's Note:**

> for celestial_nova. i love u 
> 
> (shameless promo: please check out her fic "suspended in glass". it's honestly beautiful and you won't regret it)
> 
> i've been sitting on this for a while because i kept forgetting to edit it. the idea came from "arsonist kyoko", but it didn't quite end up like i thought. although, i do like how this turned out. anyways, bap. here you go. some nice naegiri for the soul. comments are appreciated if you can spare the time.


End file.
